There is no day more magical than your wedding day, but, unfortunately, marriages aren’t always made to last. This is usually the case when you get married too soon, without covering all of the bases, and without really getting to know your partner. No one wants their marriage to end in divorce, but you can’t escape the fact that half of them do. If you want to be in the better half of this statistic, then here are eight things that you should talk about before anyone gets down on one knee.
You don’t need to know how many children you want or even exactly when, but it’s always good to have some sort of idea when you are going to start your family if you want to start one at all. If you get married unsure if you’re on the same page regarding children, you probably aren’t, and this is only ever going to end in heartbreak.
If you’re considering marriage, then you clearly want a future together, and that future shouldn’t be a mystery between the two of you. The last thing that you want is for you to get married and then realise that one of you wants to travel while the other one wants to get higher up in their career. There are also lots of little things that you have to think about, like how you are going to raise your children, where you want to live, and who is going to be doing what chores.
A bit of mystery can be alluring at the start of a relationship, but when you’re thinking of marriage and kids, it really is time to find out what happened in each of your lives to bring you to this point. Some of this information might be embarrassing or upsetting, but if you genuinely love your partner, then you shouldn’t have any problem with feeling this way in front of them. This is the perfect time to discuss previous relationships and children and get everything out in the open.
Your partner’s family and friends shouldn’t be strangers to you; They should be your family and friends too. If your partner hasn’t introduced you to their loved ones and you haven’t introduced them to yours, this is a huge red flag that the relationship isn’t really going anywhere. If this is the case, then getting engaged isn’t a good idea.
If a wedding is on the agenda, then it’s important that you are on the same page with how you want it all to go down. After all, you’re only ever going to end up disappointed if you’re thinking about designer engagement rings, a huge princess dress, and a horse-drawn carriage and they just want to get it over and done with at the nearest registry office. Planning a wedding is incredibly stressful, so you need to make sure that you’re on the same page way before it starts.
You both need to have a serious think about what you want from your job and how it might affect your marriage and family. For example, if you both want to have full-time jobs for the foreseeable future, then you aren’t going to be able to have children anytime soon. If your goals don’t align or you aren’t both fully supportive of one another, then you need to think about whether or not it’s actually going to work.
You and your partner may have completely different spending and saving habits, and that can be okay, but it is something that needs to be discussed. This is especially important if either of you is in any debt, as this could affect your partner too. Secrets about money can ruin relationships, so don’t keep any.
Faith & Politics
It is important to have an idea of where you partner stands on religion and certain political views before things get too serious. While you don’t always have to agree, there may be some things that you have some strong opinions about, and if your partner doesn’t agree, this could cause problems later on. It’s better to know now, before you’re married than later on when you’re legally attached.
Almost everyone dreams of the perfect marriage, but this is going to be hard to come by if you don’t really know the person you’re married to. To make sure that you do, be sure to discuss all of the topics above before you get engaged.